2005-12-29

Murderdolls Mental Mania Medley (Memento Mori)


Sick! So sick of this I'm gonna slit my wrists!
Murder, murder, yes indeed, K-I-L-L-I-N-G!
Old MacDonald had a farm,
E-I-E-I-Oh my God;
Thou shalt not take any more shit!

Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't give a fuck!
Hey Norman Bates, how are your rates?
All of my heroes are dead in Hoellywood.
Go and call the priest so he can exorcise me,
Be my ghoul tonight, it was love at first fright!
Well I'm a loser, I'm a winner a born-again sinner!
I'm perfect, pissed off, beautiful - I'm GOD!

She was a teenage zombie
she was a teenage corpse
dropdeadgorgeous that's for sure!
I'd rather cut you than the wedding cake.
I come from a planet beyond the stars looking for human body parts
gonna pull your body from the grave 'cos I'm Graverobbing USA!

In 197666 I was born a bastard and a son of a bitch.
In197666 I hid a porno mag inside my crib.
In 197666 I killed an animal rights activist, 'cos animals ain't got no rights, that's right!
When there's no more room in hell, then the dead will walk the earth, and the living won't have a prayer, 'cos it's the dawn of the dead!
I'm the motherfucking wrench thrown in the gears,
Everything was great till i got here.
Dressed to depress, couldn't ask for anything less!
Dressed to depress, my whole life's a fucked up mess!

I'm gonna kill miss america! yeah yeah yeah!
Loving her's like a lobotomy,
She's evil and she's meant for me!

Why don't you do the whole world a favour?
Conncet your throat to the nearest razor!
Or do you need it spelled out for you?
Well F-U-C-K-Y-O-U!
Motherfucker I don't care!
I'm at the end of my noose
I've got nothing to lose!
Let's fuck, you fucking whore!
Let's fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck some more!
I take drugs and you should too!
Should say "no", but I'm always saying "yes" to the D-R-U-G-S!

Hey little sister what have you done?
Hey little sister who's the only one?
Hey little sister who's your superman?
Hey little sister who's the one you want?
It's a nice day to start again,
It's a nice day for a white wedding.
I don't care if you're my mother,
Or my mother-fucking father.
ONE NATION UNDER FUCK, WITH LIBERTY FUCKING JUSTICE FOR ALL!


2-and-a-half chords

Humour me, I think I have a point here (in fact yes there it is on the end of that stick! :P) :

-Sum 41, Blink-182, Green Day, Simple Plan, New Found Glory, Bowling For Soup, NoFx,

-Rancid, Bad Religion, The Distillers

-The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Ramones, Sham 69.

That first lot are always called "pop-punk", because their music isn't really all that great, only 2 or 3 chords ever, and they only ever sing about feeding the cat or staying at home on friday night and that sucks, it's not involved enough. Firstly, that's wrong and secondly, who cares?

I'm a drummer, I don't even know what a chord is, let alone 3!

And besides, who ever calles the Pistols skilled musicians? That was the entire point! Sid Vicious even went so far as to purposefully not take lessons and obstinately refused to learn how to play the bass! OK, I'll grant you the thrash guitars and rocksteady drums of Cook & Jones were pretty awesome, but it was being so hectic that made it good, not talent. Punk was about just the hell of it. Seeing a band, and realising it wasn't that hard and going out and making it. Simple. And that, as far as I can tell, is what that first list have done.

In between, we have the bands that are, although occasionally disputed, usually seen as definitely punk. This I agree with, but not as far as seperateing them from so-called "pop-punk" goes. My main point for this is all the collaborations betwen them. ("Blink-182 and Green Day, the two most sellout punk bands in the history of the Universe, on tour together!" ~ Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day)

(I have a feeling I've already said this somewhere... hm must just be my imagination...)

Singer from Rancid: Tim Armstrong.
Singer from Green Day: Billie Joe Armstrong.
>>Anybody else made the connection? It's not hard guys...

Drummer from The Transplants (would go in 2nd list): Travis Barker (or Baker or something).
Drummer from Blink-182: Travis Barker.
>>Surely no-one can miss that one!?

Come on people, it's all the same stuff, and it's all really good, so shut up about it.

And then it was 4 o'clock

One of the unfortunate side-effects of leading the teenage equivalent of the rock'n'roll lifestyle in winter times is that when you get to the point of sleeping in till 1, having gone to bed at 1, there isn't much daylight left to kick you into a near-motivated state to get yourself round to actually doing anything. And thus the last 10 days may as well have not actually happened, and I would hadly have noticed, really.

Shame that I waste my time like this, but hey I like it.

Breakdown

Would you know how to change a tyre?

You never know what that kind of thing might come in handy.

Happened to me just the other day actually, yes.

So no, this isn't just filler. It's real advice-like stuff, like life coaching or something, only without the bullshit.

*edit* Yes, I did know how to change the tyre. (Thanks MC!)

Yet another new word

Vive les néologismes à la Alex!

Nyth.

Can't quite remember how we came up with it. Anna and I msning.

In any case, we came with a meaning and a purpose for it!

It's a verb.

"to nyth":
Meaning: the oppostie of "to anyth
" hence in the action of nything, one is not doing anything in particular.

Purpose: to annoy people who only speak French because of the annoying pronunciation (can also be used as a meaning).


Vive l'Éducation Nationale / Mon Bonnet

Anecdote:

C'était à la fin des cours. Il faisait froid en sortant, donc j'ai mis mon bonnet. Logique, non?

Mon bonnet, il est un peu particulier: la "décoration" ça a commencé avec un badge et un patch, rien de trop extraordinaire (par rapport à ma veste par exemple). Puis un jour j'ai eu l'idée de mettre un petite fourchette en plastique que j'ai eu avec un döner kebab une fois, au cas où ils n'enn aurait plu un jour (il se trouve que j'ai eu raison). En plus c'était tellement facile de mettre ces trucs, donc pourquoi pas? Et puis j'en ai mis un autre, et maintenant il y en a tout plein. Toutes les couleurs en plus! Qui plus est (!), j'ai encore des badges et épingles, donc il est bien délire à force.

Alors comme dit je mettait mon fameux bonnet en sortant des cours, en passant devant la surveillante (Marie-Antoinette apparemment). J'ai à peine fait 20 mètres en sortant, quand elle viens de derrièe en disant "Vous devriez mettre un os dans votre bonnet, comme les sauvages, vous savez?" euh... non, en réalite je ne sais pas.

Alors voilà, meilleur lycée de France, apparemment, et on trouve des absurdités stéréotypiques racistes comme ça parmis le personnel. C'est tout ce que j'ai dire là-dessus.

2005-12-28

Update

I've got a bunch of ideas, and usual they've all come at the same (inconvenient) time. So I've finally rotten gound to starting all of them (although this is a lie, it makes no difference), and they should be up before next year (this is a truth and makes a lot of difference). I've got lots of (varyingly) interesting things to say, so check back soon! (I sound so cheesy, as if I even need to bother saying that, the (very few) people who read this thing always come back eventualy anyway. Uch I have a headache. I'm going to go post some shit on My Spaces on MSN just to feel superior again with the knowledge that I have something better. And stop using so many (pointless) parentheses!

2005-12-19

Dédicace

For once I'm not hating French right now, so

j'en profite pour mettre enfin un article en français, pour tous les pauvre gens que j'emmerde d'habitude avec mon incessante parlage de l'anglais.

Le mot "ordinateur" a été inventé par IBM parce qu'ils ne voulaient pas que le nom de leur produit contienne à la fois les mots "con" et "pute".

V'là c'était tut ce que j'avais à dire. Vous ne le saviez pas, hein?
Et puis je tiens à faire savoir à tous les gens un peu fous, dérangés, etcétératifiés que je pense à eux (pas dur, j'en fait partie) et que je tiens à eux (idem).
Allez faire un tour ici: NYMPHTAMINE!
(Get This or die!)

2005-12-18

<< "eh?">>

I sometimes blow myself away.
Jimmy died today
Blew his brains out into the Bay.
I am not alone in this.
Other people warp my mind too.
Other people's minds are sometimes affected by me.
Other people sometimes blow their own minds.

There are still areas of the world where people are blown to bits by mines.
That only just fits.

Posting for the sake of regularity, and because I'm in the mood (tired and having been inspired at some point), and because I've had somehting to post about.




2005-12-14

xmas party!

wow, how great was that???!!!

Firstly the sketches: well done to everyone on that, they were all so funny I'm still laughing.

Except maybe "play with knives". That was good in its own way, but out of place. Belonged more in an underground poetry café in 1970s Paris. Liked the music though. Thanks Flora and Quentin for lightening us up afterwards (viva la mustaccio mexicanos!, eh hombre?).

Songs: that last one at the end was pretty hott, nice skirts! Whisky In A Jar just wasn't the same without Mr. P., but good try for "No, Nay, Never; No-Nay-Never- No More!" The two a cappella girls were mindblowing, I think they got the biggest applause of the afternoon. Meghan's band... you guys (and girls) werre fanastic, in any case you got it better beat-wise than last year... ;P Ramones... great choice. The Stupid Band... well they've got talent (Great drummer got bored, shame.), but they didn't make the most of it. What we needed was a saxophone solo or something. Mr Bass-man, he was pretty amazing too, bashing away at those strings... great hair incidentally.

"My" song (I wrote one to fit the tune of Rudolph The Reed-Nosed Reindeer) went monstrously badly, no-one remembered the lyrics, and even I got dragged (literally! - Sash my arm still burns!) into "singing" (standing at the back and looking silly: mandatory serving of asparagus for breakfast and the abolition of slavery!). But Mihai accidentally saved the day by doing what he always does: being an idiot and turning up at completely the wrong time. Don't worry we love you for it.

All in all a fun time, loads of people (in a pretty small room... sitting down and standing up and moving forwards then back every five minutes... pretty squished but all good in the end) there and a good excuse for me to use all these stupid colours. Yay!

Oh and I almost forgot: the cabaret went down without a hitch, everyone remembered their steps VOUS AVEZ TROP ASSURÉS! ahem, we would like to interrupt this post to apologise for the poor quality of everything generally and also for that sudden outburst. The Author is not feeling too great right now and just wanted to be lazy in his expression for once. cut him some slack! Would have hated being in it though, how the hell did they manage not to get stiffies during that thing I have no I idea. Maybe they're all gay...? Ok enough socially embarrassing comments about how hott it was (well hey that was the point wasn't it???! you can't just- oh nevermind I know what I mean.)

2005-12-09

Epitaph Accrostiche

Please please please put something like this on my gravestone... please?!


"
Free your body and soul
Unfold your powerful wings
Climb up the highest mountains
Kick your feet up in the air
You may now live forever
Or return to this earth
Unless you feel good where you are!

Missed by your friends.
"

2005-12-05

New KoRn album.

Yes! By far their best work yet! Totally kicks ass. It's got everything, from fast and angry (Politics) to quiet and sad (Tearjerker), with all the characteristic heaviness (It's Me Again) one comes to expect.

2005-12-03

Bloody Parents (coninued)

Fuck, not again. Ok first of all if you care about continuity read the post below this one before you read this one. The way this site is designed things happen upside-down.

Mum came back maybe ten minutes later, saying that if I was going to do what I wanted, then she wouldnt come home tomorrow to do me lunch. Instead she'd stay in town and read The Da Vinci Code (which I leant her, but that's besides the point) and go shopping. Do what she wanted. Sounds reasonable to me. Her argument was that if I was well enough to stay up so late, then I didn't need so much taking care of and could get my own lunch. I fully agree. I mean, sounds reasonable enough doesn't it? I'm big enough to survive on my own at home for one day. In fact I'd almost prefer having the house to myself. I can play loud music that way. And anyway Dad'll probably be home if I want some company. So why shouldn't she go have a good time. Well, firstly because coming home to do me lunch gives her the satisfaction of being nice to her son, who has recently started being much nicer to be around and talk to, and secondly because a sudden change of plan against what was previously discussed and organised is just plain mean. And I called her bluff on it, and now she'll feel worse than me about it because she was trying to trick me.

It's a real shame things have become this way...

Bloody Parents.

WARNING: this is just a mad angsty rant because it's too late at night to go bash the drums and I like hitting the keys particularly hard and thus let out a bit of anger and, who knows?, maybe get something slightly constructive done in the meantime. In all other respects please kindly ignore this entirely as I am completely off my mind on angry drugs beingenthused into my brain because of the incident I am about to relate. It is uninteresting to everyone except maybe me, and by tromorrow I'll have forgotten about it. But I now have te opportunity to capture as best I can the purity of the feelings, and I might as well, I've got nothing better to do anyway. Wow this is turning out better than I had first thought. Proper sentences and all.

My mum just came in and reminded me for about the fifth time that it was 11:30 and therefore bedtime. I kept ignoring her because I don't have school tomorrow and it's the week-end and I can give myself a nice lie-in. I haven't had a proper lie-in in ages because of the drugs and because of going to bed early enough to get up early to get to school (even though I'm not supposed to even be back yet) and I'm really looking forward to it. Oh that's right I don't have school tomorrow, because as I said earlier, both my teachers are absent. Ah. Yes you'd forgotten about that hadn't you. Shows how much attention you pay to your son. So in fact my plan was fine. Yes. Good. Right. Now fuck off. You're much too tired yourself, only you have to get up in the morning, so leave me alone and get to bed. Now.

2005-12-02

Maggot Corps #9

This deserves a mention. The latest Slipknot record, 9.0:Live is oficially awesome. Makes you really want to go kill someone and stare into their dying eyes. In a good way, of course. Makes you feel powerful. All the right tracks were picked for this 2-disc set, which covers all 3 roadrunner albums, plus two old rarities and a Drum Solo of just Joey showing off (it's amazing). The sound quality has been really fine-tuned, with excellent production (again thanks to mr. Jordison a.k.a. #1) and mixing. Having been to one of their concerts, I knew what to expect, and was not disappointed at all. It explodes from the very beginning to the very end, every song an anthem, every lyric a slogan. Being a fan of these guys is not easy, but it sure is fucking fun as hell once you get the hang (and behead and headbang) of it. The sheer overwhelming might of their anger and rage just gushes through their noise like nothing you've ever experienced. Indeed, it's other title, Sensory Overload, is well-deserved. "I don't listen to music for stage presence." someone once said to me when I was going on about how mindblowingly in-your-fucking-face their live show is. Well, now you can. Stay (sic), because we all got left behind, and buy it, motherfuckers!

Does This Look Infected?

Look into my eyes,
See there are no lies.
I feel warm and fuzzy inside,
My bad thoughts have died,
It happened when I sighed.
Come into my mind,
To see what's behind...
I have nothing to hide.

Siren Song

Come, Odysseus...

Sweet whispers sweep past his ears and put his mind to sleep...

Aren't you even just a little curious?
We know you'd like to see us.
It's just a matter of time,
Despite what you might think,
Into our voices, left with no choices,
You will always sink...

Why do you fight it?
We have no fire, ignite, lit!


Unknown to you, oh this Zeus is a pest, Odysseus!
You must pass this test, lest you be but a second Prometheus,
Promised to be returned, your situation seems so lost,
Victory, but at what cost?


No, man, no man should go through
Such trials, we gods can be so vile.
Immortality has turned us to monsters,
Worse than those you've already slain.
Demanding sacrifices and ridiculous prices.
What right do we have to determine the plight of others?


Only human.

2005-12-01

The Movie

“The movie will begin in five moments,” the mindless voice announced.

“All those unseated will await the next show.”

We filed slowly, languidly, into the hall.
The auditorium was vast and silent.
As we seated and were darkened, the voice continued:

“The programme for this evening is not new, you’ve seen this entertainment through and through; you’ve seen your birth, your life and death, you might recall all of the rest. Did you have a good world when you died? Enough to base a movie on?”

Jim Morrison, 1967 (?)

Glass Menagerie


pblleuuerroossiess



Essay

The first IGCSE essay I wrote last year. Got a B, but when I asked how I could improve it, the teacher really had nothing to say. So it's A* material, it's just that there's nothing wrong with it. I remember really going for it enthusiastically, pouring pure soul into it. Best writing and all. Thought I would share it. Again, part of my new outlook on life.

Nabeul.

A little over two years ago, my family and I went on holiday to Tunisia. It was cheaper if we went before a certain date, so I didn't get to go in for the last two days of school. I'm told I didn't miss much, though.

When we got there, everything went as planned. We found our rooms, and we were pleasantly surprised to find our bags were already there. One less thing to find in the morning. We had just enough time to rummage round for toothbrush and toothpaste before collapsing into the warm, soft beds. There was a mosquito buzzing menacingly around, but we didn’t mind. We were too tired to mind. It was an enjoyable kind of tired, though, it meant it was easier to get to sleep (which was exactly what we were wanted), as opposed to it being harder to stay awake.

The first few days were spent as per usual finding our way around, locating where the important places were in relation to the rooms. It turned out that the beach, pool, bar and restaurant were all very near each other, which was convenient. Like everything else really. One could tell that every last detail had been designed for the satisfaction of each and every holiday-maker. It was fantastic. It was never too busy, either, despite rumours of the village being filled to capacity. It somehow seemes as though there were alwaysplenty of people to talk to, but at the same time one could always find a quiet, relaxing place to rest. There was always plenty to do, such as a football match that could be improvised on the spur of the moment, or a game of water-polo with very flexible teams. Yet I was never properly tired. It was as if energy was not taken into account, and one only slept out of pleasure, the beds being so comfortable.

Nobody had a care in the world for those two weeks, unless it was something along the lines of “I wonder who I’m going to meet at dinner this evening?”. The atmosphere was one of universal tranquillity, I could sense that everyone was genuinely happy to be there.

The mediterranean weather was astounding, a positively picturesque sun shining every single day. At night the stars would come out and shine particularly brightly, as if they, too, wished to share the good mood.

In the evenings, I would go out on to the beach with Natalie, an exceptionally beautiful girl I had met by the pool on the first day of the trip. We would lie on deckchairs and talk for hours. Afterwards we would sit quietly, simply listening to the sound of the waves, holding hand.

I have many great memories of that holiday. I would not, however, ever like to return, for fear of a negative experience, which might tarnish the paradise-like image I hold in my head.

Alex Brown,
Wednesday, 15th September 2004.


The set question was "Describe the most beautiful place you have ever seen." It wasn't hard to find the inspiration. I wrote from the heart. There are so many little details in there that actually mean something, but only to me, so I won't bore you all to death any more than I feel is necessary (remember you are reading this by choice) by cramming every single one (I could never remeber them all, and sometimes I
later find things which I had never known were there.) down your earholes. The teacher's comments aren't worth the ink they're written in. They are too perfectionist, attempting to remove the human, personal touch I injected into my text.

And I still think that on the scale of humanity and teenagerhood, it runs rings around "The Tree", which, although well written, was frankly boring.


Shit happens.

The health situation:

I had a virus, whose name I don't know but it ends with "B-19". It's an absolutely standard virus, loads of people get it, and usually it's just a question of staying in bed with headache tablets for three days. 90% of cases clear up on their own. I just happen to be in the 10% (well, apparently I give the impression of always wanting to be in some kind of minority, but this is ridiculous!) of cases that do something odd. But what it did to me was particularly weird. To the point of them not working it out for over a week. (although that did include a long weekend, and this being France even ill people have to succumb to the public holidays, of course)

Meningitis. Not "men in tight jeans", mind.
Resulting in intracranial hypertension. And somewhere along in there came some damage to my accoustic nerve in my right ear, which means I can't hear so well on that side any more. But I don't mind, it could be worse. It's just that now I have to be extra careful with my left ear. Plug it when I play the drums, for instance. Sit on the right side of a classroom. Little changes like that. I' not completel deaf, just imparied somewhat. But I've got another appointment in 3 weeks time, and te doctor said there should be some progress between now and then, but that the anti-inflammatory steroids (cortizone, fucks with your mind and sleep too) were no longer necessary (and thus I could do away with the salt-free diet and 3-and-a-1/2 other medications I was on) and all I can do is hope.

2005-11-30

In other news...

I've decided to carry a notebook around with me. It'll be practical, because till now I've lost lots of ideas through not writing them down. Now with my new-found control over my own life I'm going to make it stop.

Sick joke / test

Please try to comment on this as honestly and with as little bias as you can. Due to my not wanting to upsetanyone or risk getting the wrong idea across (this is delicate, nobody should be expected to have a sense of humour about it), I have to put this little note in. You have been warned. Now, proceed: how would you react were I to say the following:

Fuck. Not good. My Dad just died.
I've lost all point of reference.
Nothing makes sense any more.
Help!

Last night was pretty dark...


|\/|ince pies!


Originally, mince meat was actually meat.
But then with the prospering of the colonies, people started including fruit.
When meat became too expensive, all people could afford ws fruit.
That is why mince meat is, in fact, fruit.




Have A Cigar


"Yes, the band is great that is truly what I think.
And by the way, which one's Pink?"

See You On The Other Side

For over a decade, KoRn have been making most excellent music: neurotic noise for angst-ridden teens.

In typical rock-band style, their first guitarist has left them to go and be a vehement evangelical Christian, but did you really think that would stop them? Of course not.

The first single off their new album, out on the 5th December (can't wait!) , totally rocks, and is called Twisted Transistor.

Done Thing?

Does It Do*?

*not Do Something or Anything, just Do(es). It?

This morning I sent two identical friendly txtsms to two girls. Is that wrong? I feel my life is going so well I can "get away" with that kind of thing. I think they can proably work out who they are, although each other's identity might take a little longer. Am I being incredibly selfish with my good feelings? I mean no harm at all, I'm just after a good time. Honest. Got a pair of interesting replies.

In fact I also sent a second txtsms to two girls, also identical, although that's just a coincidence. That was practical, and definitely not dubious.

Deep

Last night trying to get to sleep I got A LOT of ideas for articles to post today. I'll try to write them all this afternoon, but with the build-up of older things to finish, I doubt if I'll manage. I'm aiming to have them all up within a week.

I'm about to go have lunch, bacon for the first time in over a month. I very much intend to enjoy it.
Then I'm going to watch a film, and after that I'll come back and actually make a start on these posts. Somewhere along the line I hope to get some school work done, but I have a feeling that there may not be enough time for all that.

To be continued...

WebLog



2005-11-29

Und danach?

JETZT, ABER?! ABER JETZT!...?
#
@

Apples to everyone

BLACK FLAG!
RADNOM
RAMMED ON
NUMBER AD

Appeals to everyone

Please leave your comments. Even if it's just your name, so I know you've been. Thank you.

Applies to everyone

with all the stuff I've written recently, I think it might be necessary to put in this little note about SCROLL DOWN A LOT, for the sake of continuity. I rarely finish posts on the same day |I| start them, so there's a fairly good chance you've missed something.

I'm great.

Horizons are opening and it feels fantastic.
Even if I get things wrong it won't matter, because nothing I do is important. That's a good thing.
Happy.
Lucky.
I feel like I'm floating. My feet don't touch the ground, but I stay down to earth all the same. Who could possibly waant to leave?
I understand.
Some situations are different, desolate, destitute. But not for me. I'm out of the woods,
And I can go off into the fields now and play. I think I probably deserve it.
  • "I have nothing to declare except my genius." ~ Oscar Wilde, New York customs, 1892 (?)
Nothing else matters. Devotion. Couldn't be simpler. I've woken up.
Improvise, and everything'll be fine.
That's how it works.

Dear Dire Dreary Diary

From now on, there has been a change. Hope you've noticed.

Tick.

St. }} (s)AINT <<>
(
stained with paint.)
sorry.#

stick.
est ick.
kick.

Nick.

WHAT?!

EXPLANATION:
I've been spontaneously told that my blog was getting a bit weird.
I asked around (well, one other person) and that opinion was confirmed.
Not enough fun.
And then someone else told me I was slipping into "sinister".
Despite feeling so great. This would not do.

Thus it came to pass that
I decided to get off my ass
I would do something about it and remedy the problem.





Notice.



These pictures are just what you get if you look up "evil angel" on Google.





I reckon that if you combine "evil" and "angel" you get "evangelical".


Please don't take this stuff the rong way, as I said I just happened to notice the quirk of the language. This is not meant to be any kind of dark pseudo-psychotic attempt at cpoonvincing anyone of the perfectness of Death or anything sad like that. I just happened to think of it. Plus I'm trying to use more pictures nowadays. I merely took the best-looking ones of the search.



EVIL ]X[ ANGEL

What is your vile angle?

2005-11-28

System Of A Down

"So I felt like the biggest asshole
When I killed the ol' rock and roll!"



Someone should start a band called System Of A Pound, just so the frenchies would call them SOAP.


Chop Suey!

Wake up,
Grab a brush and put a little (makeup),
Grab a brush and put a little,
Hide the scars to fade away the (shakeup)
Hide the scars to fade away the,
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable

You wanted to,
Grab a brush and put a little makeup,
You wanted to,
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup,
You wanted to,
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table,
You wanted to,

I don't think you trust,
In, my, self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die, Die,

Wake up,
Grab a brush and put a little (makeup),
Grab a brush and put a little,
Hide the scars to fade away the (shakeup)
Hide the scars to fade away the,
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable

You wanted to,
Grab a brush and put a little makeup,
You wanted to,
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup,
You wanted to,
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table,
You wanted to,

I don't think you trust,
In, my, self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
In my, self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die

Father, Father, Father, Father,
Father/ Into your hands/I/commend my spirit,
Father, into your hands,

Why have you forsaken me,
In your eyes forsaken me,
In your thoughts forsaken me,
In your heart forsaken, me oh,

Trust in my self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die,
In my self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die.



I'm just sitting in my car and waiting for my girl...

I think System Of A Down technically count as my official Favourite Band, because I own all their albums, and paid for them all myself. There are five, plus the bonus DVD I got with Hypnotise, which totally blows anything else you've ever heard completely away to the middle of last week by the way, which is the most albums by the same band that I have that aren't my Dad's.

There's only one true path in life; the road that leads to a heart.


The Meeting

From the minute he saw her, he knew. There was almost an audible click in his ear. He knew. What exactly it was he knew, he couldn't yet tell. Well, can you blame him? Of course not. This is purity; uncontrolled, unpredictable, unrestrained emotions overwhelming his entire attention.

He had to approach her. The moment was designed that way. It seemed to have been written out before him, like a predetermined destiny, unknowable, yet unchangeable. That particular piece of amber was that particular piece of amber. Nothing else.

No way was he going to play football. It didn't fit. No way. He was fixed. Nothing he could do about. Not that he would have wanted to. It was too perfect.

He could feel the warm afternoon sun leaning on him, as if trying to gently nudge him into the pool, where the water could take over. In that instant, he became the second sunshine.
None of this was known to him at the time, of course. Why would it? Even now no-one can truly know the full scale of what was going on inside him. Naturally it has happened before, that is the nature of these things. But again there was no knowledge on his part. He was far too young, and unprepared. No-one had ever told him. They probably hsould have, though, but so it goes.
So it goes.

He was lucky. He overheard some of his own language. That would help. He yearned for his native tongue, after what in all other respects had been the best week of his life, and the thought of it continuing with the possibility of less concentration and more fluency and ease filled him with courage. That would not turn out to be necessary, however. Again lucky, after a while of his usual tactical lurking and hiding in plain sight, not getting himself noticed unless he knew he wanted it (Over the years, he had become good at turning invisible and staying out of the way.), it was she who approached him.

This came as quite a suprise to him. Not that he didn't want her to.

Once more it was too perfect. He couldn't have prescripted it better. It was so exactly what he was after that he had ruled it out from probability altogether.
From there, he was in his element. He had the upper hand. Not that he needed it. He had a knack for conversation-starting, and it went easily, despite the slight feeling of nerves in his stomach. He could just ignore that. Another thing he was used to, ignoring pain.

It was the dawning of a new phase for him. The best phase.

Not knowing simply didn't matter any more. He didn't need to know. He would go on to almost get it all badly wrong, but the determination of the love he was now fuelled with pulled through, and he got it right in the end.


Muse - Unintended

Sitting on the basement floor,
Leaning against the (wine) cellar door...

The first time I ever heard this song was when Natalie played it to me one night when she visited me during the summer. It was amazing. Tuned the guitar by ear and everything. Lying on the floor in the drums room. I wonder how much of it got through to my parents via the airvents. Not that I cared about that at the time. It was quite wonderful.


You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love

You could be the one who listens
To my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
Before you


Old poem

Was browsing through the archives of my various work, and found this.
I reckon it's not too bad, considering I wrote it 2 years ago:

Staline n'était pas un bon communiste.

On passe trop de temps,

Avec des inutilités.

On parle trop,

Rien n'est fait. Jamais.

Tout tourne autour de mensonges,

Qui mon plaisir rongent.

C'est irréparable.

"C'est la vie"

C'est minable,

Et ce ne sera pas fini.

Les interdictions,

Les bénédictions,

Rien n'est logique,

Mais personne ne critique.

Un énorme complot:

Nous sommes tous sots.

Aveugles, endormis, passifs.

Est-ce naturel d'être aussi naïf?

La mort, la vie,

Sont-elles suffisantes?

C'est pour ça que je crie:

"Ecoutez quand je chante!"

Engouffrés dans la pénombre,

Nous avons les nombres,

Pour sortir de cette cage

Mettre une fin à cet age.

Tout défaire, puis ne rien refaire.

Les clichés,

Les moutons,

Il faut tout brûler,

Pour ne plus jamais dire

"Broutons."

Je ne fais pas qu'écrire,

Et il faut faire plus que lire.

Entreprendre, aider.

Ne pas tout laisser aux dés!


I remember the teacher reading out in front of the class,
that was nice.

The Rich Man

Somehow, I think I’m going home

Even though my friends can’t reach me

I don’t know how I ended up alone

All I know is you can’t save me

They only asked us to believe

They only wanted us to follow

I think I’m old enough to see

I think I’m going home tomorrow

I, be,lieve, in…

Sinners and hypocrites
Burning in the desert for a rich man
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Liars and lunatics
Lead us to the slaughter for our last stand
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killers and idiots
Dying in the desert for a rich man
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sinners and hypocrites
Gather us together for the master plan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I didn’t bother with my faith

How will my family recognize it?

Somehow, I think I’m going home

But I still can’t comprehend it

I know I don’t want to die

But I know dying will not end it

I, be,lieve, in…

Sinners and hypocrites
Burning in the desert for a rich man
===========================


Liars and lunatics
Lead us to the slaughter for our last stand
===============================


Killers and idiots
Dying in the desert for a rich man
=========================

Sinners and hypocrites
Gather us together for the bastards
===========================


I know the truth is all a lie - my skin is cracking on my lips

I don’t pretend that I can understand why we are doing this

My heart has bled a thousand times - how will I live with what we’ve done?

The only comfort is the knowledge that I’m not the only one


Why am I here?
What did I do?
Why?

Beastie Boys!

YOU GOTTA FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO


PARTY!

(KICK IT!)

You wake up late for school - man you don't wanna go

You ask you mom, "Please?" - but she still says, "No!"

You missed two classes - and no homework

But your teacher preaches class like you're some kind of jerk


(chorus) You gotta fight for your right to party


You pop caught you smoking - and he said, "No way!"

That hypocrite - smokes two packs a day

Man, living at home is such a drag

Now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Bust it!)


(repeat chorus)


"Don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear"

"I'll kick you out of my home if you don't cut that hair"

Your mom busted in and said, "What's that noise?"

Aw, mom you're just jealous - it's the Beastie Boys!



Sofa\ Bort } <3

This chick

ROX MY SOX

Lovin' the red, gurl. You knows who I'm gonna come visit if I get myself anywhere near
Torontotown hunn.

Percy

<< Beshrew me, Sir, you're in good fooling this morning! >>




"Tush."


Hey Nonney-Nonney, m'Lord, congratulations!

Tora! Life!

Even though I'm allergic (slightly physically intolerant is more accurate) to cats,


^^Alain's kitty kat.^^


This is just a pic of the song sayerer from
Alien Ant Farm
, just forthe heck of it.









this one is different. Maybe it was just the frame of mind I was developing at the time (see the Moment of clarity post), but in any case I definitely noticed some interesting (awful word, but I mean it as well as I can) things about animals, and life in general.

When I arrived at Al's on Saturday and they told me they had a new cat I thought, "Oh great, sneezing and sore throat- as if I don't already have enough wrong with me at the moment. This is the last bloody thing I need."

As the afternoon went on though, she seemed to be having enough fun running around the house, minding her own business as we played Halo II (which I'm getting pretty good at) on the xbox (Still can't get used to the size of the controller though, it's just so massive!).

I didn't notice my allergies, either, because she stayed pretty much away the whole time, which was good. I don't think it would have been a problem otherwise, though, because I think my body was too busy with everything else to be bothered about it.

"Tora" is the japanese word for "tiger", apparently.
Because the orange and black pattern on her back does sort of look tigerish.
They adopted her recently, because they found her in their garden with no tags or anything.

Saturday evening she tried to sleep in my bed on Al's bedroom floor, because she usually does. We had to put her out in the hall for the night, because surely a tired, ill human counts for more than a simple pesky cat, right? (Answer: yes.) I'm glad she hasn't learnt to open doors yet, though, otherwise it would have eneded up worse than with Daffy at Nat's house.

Sunday morning was when I changed my perspective. Climbing around on Al's bed, trying to sneak under the covers with me, and generally being around made me see Tora in a whole new light. I recognised her as a living thing. Seeing her lie down, hearing her breath, feeling her clawing at the sheets, it felt really special. Being able to foresee when she hop down from or up to the bed, ad then the satisfaction when it happened. I'd never looked at an animal like that before. Part of my huge reality check I guess. I love it.


2005-11-27

Concert

Last Sunday L'Ochestre Symphonique des Jeunes de Strasbourg played in Wangenbourg, which is a little touristy skiiing village way out near a few other small villages, where nothing much happens. It was awesome. Thought I'd mention it. Oh and a mention of Anne-Sophie, a.k.a. Nobody, whom I successfully converted from Utopian Anarchist to Don'tGiveAFuck-ist, who plays violin for the aforementioned orchestra. Here's a picture of her looking quite bizarre, which wasn't meant to make it's way onto my computer, but that'll just teach her to pay more attention. (A-S: I told you I would!)


This is her blog, which is actually pretty good if you read it properly:
http://personne666.skyblog.com

And a better picture, very nice.


Nat:

"(Alors voila, comme promis,
Sans trop de compromis.
Ni de rimes à la con. Promis.)"

The snail has rex.

Je t'attends depuis toujours.
Je t'attendrais toujours.
Je t'attends toujours.

Rex has the snail.


I LOVE KOOKY!


No need for this any more either:


No longer the Retriever. Cool! And I thank you for it, which means what it has to./,;
because
I made it and if it doesn't I'm gonna get medieval on it's ass.



And this is a picture of her looking very pretty indeed (as always) in that swimming pool.

A moment of clarity.


I was eating my muffin on Sunday, in the car on the home.
Pretty creepy.



"Yeah, I was just sitting here,
eating my muffin and I had what alcoholics
refer to as a 'moment of clarity'."

Let me clarify my clarity a bit, because it's not a terribly simpleeasy conceptidea..


Two weeks is a long time for thought.

Alone in your room for so long, with really nothing else to do. Reading as much as I did, inevitably leads to writing a lot down as well. And after a while, my perceptions of things have started to peel awaay from in front of my eyes. I really feel I can see now. All I can trace it to is the drugs messing up my sleep, but I don't mind. It feels great. I've got a permanent buzz. It only ever wears off for a few seconds at a time, when I blink and completely zap out, but then in an instant I'm back and fresh as a piece of meat what's not entirely dead
yet.

It's as if someone has come and taken off the pair of filter glasses that have been editing what I see for the last few years. There was another semi-audible click. It was that kind of moment. Now I can sit next to the aquarium and stare at the fish without getting bored after 30 seconds. Can't wait till the fireworks on New Year's Eve. That's going to be really great. Like when we made that campfire at Al's cabin in Algonquin Park. Awesome captivation. Just staring. I also now feel a lot more helpful with my parents. Which can only iprove communication.

Thus it is revealed...