2006-01-10

Lolzords!

One of the better "funny" e-mails I have ever received... you've probably already seen it but for the sake of pushing the human race forward (and ultimately off a cliff), I decided to put it up here.
(It also shows a bit of my sense of humour, for those who don't know me.)

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert.
Italy has increased the alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain,"ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They also have two higher levels: "invade a neighbor" and "lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat they worry about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

thanxxx for the French!

Anonymous said...

so i found you. agn. cynical as ever, i see. goddammit, why am i followin yr blogs around? bad habit.
fuckin funny piece tho... as an englanderin i should find myself offended, but i choose to side with the belgians (unfortunately, current habitat)and go off partyin... while the bombs fly over my head.
hmm, sounds just like home.
anyways im gonna stop invadin yr privacy (tho i mite defend myself by pointin out it IS splattered all over the net) and leave you's aloner.
;)
Peace out.
http://firestarter07.skyblog.com
nothin vair recent, im afraid. undergoin mucho reconstruction. soon.

Alex said...

Steph(?) then is at alert level "offended".